Going Brazilian

25 Mar

It’s amazing where the mind wanders when you’re sitting in public transport waiting for garbage trucks to move.  In this case we were outside a beauty salon, which had a sign painted on its window advertising half price brazilians. 

Now, I’m not sure what they call brazilians in your part of the world, but in Australia this is the full removal of all pubic hair to, allegedly, leave the genital area silky smooth and sexy.

A friend of mine had one done several years ago.  I asked about the process. I am what you might call terminally curious.  This particular day I really wished that I wasn’t!  Apparently a brazilian  involves the removal of the hair by applying hot wax.  To me, this sounds less like a beauty therapy and more like an interrogation technique designed by the Spanish inquisition!

I have no idea why women want to do this to themselves!  It puzzles the hell out of me.  Women are meant to have hair down there.  Unless you resemble a gorilla at the zoo, I don’t see any reason to torture yourself to remove it.  If you want to be tortured your government international affairs department will happily supply a list of countries for you to visit.

I know many women over forty, and I include myself in this, work hard to keep ourselves looking as young as possible for as long as possible.  However, trying to turn yourself back into an eleven year old girl just isn’t going to work!  The prepubescent look has NEVER been sexy.

I have asked this question many times: why do you do it?  The usual response I get is “My husband likes it.”  Really?  If your husband actually likes you looking like you have yet to break out in your first bout of acne, then I would start worrying about what really turns him on.

The more likely scenario is that your husband has excellent self preservation skills.  If he said to you, “Honey, you look like a plucked chicken,” he knows damn well he’ll be spending the next six months sleeping on the sofa.  Not even the goldfish will be talking to him!

The line between looking youthfully beautiful, and looking ridiculous is a thin one.  Anyone else remember panstick?  I remember when I was a child a  school friend’s mother used to use it.  Most days she looked like Coco the Clown on his day off.

At least with a brazilian the general public can’t see it.  Unless you go commando, which is a whole different blog for another day.

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4 Responses to “Going Brazilian”

  1. ♥ Marie Edwards ♥ (@MarieEdwards429) March 25, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

    That’s what it’s called here in the U.S. I don’t believe it doing it. I don’t like pain, I don’t like torture. I do try to keep the “woods” trimmed for personal and hygienic reasons (I know, TMI) though. And, you’re right … it’s there for a reason.

    I agree about the pre-adolescent look. One of my male “ex-friends” (was not and never would be a boyfriend) liked it … he said it was “cleaner”. He encouraged his young girlfriend to “trim the lawn”. And for a good blog, try this … he admitted to shaving himself down there. WTDMI (way too damn much information) — I refuse to go there. I’m too traumatized.

    I don’t believe in “flashing” one’s self in public … completely uncivilized.

    Like

  2. Cathy Howat March 25, 2013 at 8:40 pm #

    Ouch!, easier to go to Syria!

    Like

  3. Milagros Jorge March 25, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    It’s hurt..period..try it once…never complete the process literally jump from the table and put my cloth on and yell to keep any hot wax and torture instruments out of my sight…why I did it, lets just say it was temporary dementia….and hard lesson to learn….

    Like

  4. Bellz April 6, 2013 at 10:53 am #

    If you want to make oneself sexy down there you could always use conditioner and a curling wand.

    Like

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