Tag Archives: Good Manners

It Makes Scents

11 Apr

It seems to be public transport’s function to supply me with a large number of blog posts. 

This morning a woman got on my tram wearing so much perfume it smelled as if she’d bathed in it.  A horribly sickly scented fug swept ahead of her clearing a path for her, much like a minesweeper clears mines.  The lingering stench behind her caused autonomous gagging reactions in almost everyone on board the tram.

I do not understand why women (and some men) use so much perfume that it announces their presence in the manner of medieval heralds.

For one thing, it is incredibly inconsiderate to wear that much scent.  On a tram is bad enough – at least you can open the windows.  On a plane it is a freaking nightmare.  Recirculated air system means everyone breathes your rotten perfume for the duration of the flight.  If you are flying Melbourne to London you run the risk of the flight being diverted because there is so much coughing, sneezing and eye watering that the pilot thinks he’s carrying a plane load of plague victims!

Be very aware of one thing, wearers of too much perfume, it is NOT sexy.  No-one sniffs appreciatively and thinks how sexy you smell.  They are too busy wiping watering eyes and trying not to choke to even be able to think coherently.

Perfume is sexy.  It’s probably one of the most potent weapons in a woman’s sexual armory.  But it is a weapon of subtlety, not a bloody bludgeon.

First thing you need to do is make sure your perfume suits you.  Don’t sniff the tester bottle or go by the smell on a piece of cardboard.  Your skin isn’t made of cardboard.  The perfume isn’t going to smell the same on you.  Also be aware that your own personal skin chemistry can make a major difference to the way the scent smells.  I have a friend who everyone thought wore the perfume “Poison”.  She didn’t.  It was another brand, but on her it smelled like “Poison”.

The second thing is don’t buy cheap perfume.  Save your pennies until you can buy a good perfume.  French for preference.  The French still make the best perfumes in the world.  It doesn’t have to be $300 an ounce.  Even the cheaper end of the French perfume market has some truly exquisite scents.  I use Anais Anais.  A gorgeous floral scent that smells fantastic on my skin.

Thirdly and lastly: don’t bathe in it.  Perfume isn’t bait to catch a man/woman/small furry alien.  Only two people should be able to smell your perfume.  You and your lover. Think about it for a while.

Perfume is a very personal, very sensual thing.  It’s a good idea to keep it that way, if only for public health reasons.

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